Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Thoughts - a reality check.

Whiny post ahead.

Life has been busy lately.  Isn't that everyone's complaint?   I'm trying to balance home, life, kids,  pets, marriage, activities, groceries, cooking, cleaning, quilting,  and now...exercise.     It is one of those last pieces of the health puzzle that was not included in my routine.  

I have been feeling pretty burned out lately with quilting.    I'm not sure if it is the other half of life that is trying to fit in,  the lack of my own personal creativity or what.   I adore quilting on my longarm, but I'm finding I need to balance it a bit more.   I really really miss the design aspect-  I have this whole metropolitan man quilt series idea sitting in the back of my head for the past year that has not come to fruition.    I am 4 baby quilts behind- at this rate, the babies will be in kindergarten by the time I get to them.    I have a bunch of ideas for the Moda Bake Shop and I have yet to design and make  a quilt for my own bed.   All of my scraps are still sitting in scrap bins.   My modern quilt guild quilt along will never get started.  As much as I love quilting for others - and I do, I love it -  I need to find a better balance of the amount I am doing for others vs doing for myself.       When my kids ask if I can volunteer for a class field trip (2 in one week) and I get anxious thinking I cannot do it because of the quilts in my queue- then I know I've bitten more than I can chew.

There's a reason this blog has been neglected.   I hate the fact that I don't have anything interesting to post about -  I just post photos of what I have done, kind of like a factory post.   I dislike that.  I dislike that I used to follow and comment and keep up with a number of blogs and friendships.  And now I don't - because it's just one more thing to do.

I love the challenge of longarm quilting -  I love how I have taught myself to do this on my own, that each quilt gets better and I feel accomplished and rewarded by the results.  I am so proud of what I have built up.   But I'm feeling unbalanced.   Does this mean I am not cut out for this?  I don't want to be quilting 24 hours a day.  I want to go to the gym, I want to go to the dog park,  I want to watch that awful shocking episode of Grey's Anatomy.   I want to attend a SewDay.    I want to design quilts and make quilts.  I want to longarm quilt!   I want to just hang with my kids.

When I look at blogs and instagram and see these amazing quilters doing it all -  how do they do it all?      If I get the urge to do some piecing in my studio I feel sudden guilt - as that queue of quilts whispers at me.   People are waiting for them.  Don't make them wait.

How on earth does one do it all?   I feel like I have the most flexible life ever, but I am bouncing around like a pinball!    Do I not have enough grit?  

Sorry for the rambles.   These are the thoughts that have been burning through my mind in the past month.

I've done some pretty awesome quilts in the last month - will post another day in my typical factory post.  For now, you get the raw rambling thoughts going through my head.


  1. I hear you.....I feel like whining right along with you.

  2. Oh, Andrea, you're not alone in this. We can talk on Saturday :)

  3. Am I an amazing quilter doing it all?!!!
    I have no answer. I just try to cram as much into each day as I can. Some days are better than others. If you want a deep and meaningful comment, it would be stay true to yourself and not worry so much about letting others down.If you are a decent human being, others will respect that and choose to have a little bit of a decent person rather than nothing at all.
    I am not sure those were wise enough words of wisdom or just plain drivel!

  4. Oh, Andrea, I feel your pain! You WILL find your balance point - especially now that you know you need to look for it. Thanks for sharing -

  5. Such a talented person you are, make for all the pulls in so many directions.
    First, take care of your kids and family...you won't believe how quickly those years slip by. Talking from experience raising four daughter (along with a great husband) who all are college grads, married with children of their own, how did that happen? Now I have a bit more time for my interests but still get pulled in so many directions. Write on paper and prioritize your pulls. And don't be afraid to say "no" and turn away iffy opportunities. Best of luck, hang in there Lady!

  6. I can promise you that things are not always as they appear from the outside. Different moments in life demand different priorities. Children grow really (really) fast and then they are gone. I have been stashing/ quilting for twenty something years and this summer will find my middle daughter getting married and my youngest headed off to college. Maybe then I will find some time to use some of that stash!

  7. My husband died 17 days ago from ALS. He was a healthy eater, athlete, and more...He went from a man ranked in the state in .5 tennis, to a man paralyzed, feeding tube, breathing tube and dead in 22 months. Now, I let everything go that I do not want to do. I hire out those things and do what I want. Life is unpredictable and short. T
    hat was my reality check and I do not like it one bit. Also, this weekend will be one year since my mother fell out of her wheelchair and broke her neck on the way to lunch bunch. Sigh....Listen to your heart and do what you think best. xxoo

  8. Your post really resonated with me. I work full time outside the home, I have 6 kids (most are all grown up now) and finding a balance between is difficult. A few years ago, I sat down alone one night and decided to list what I valued most in my life and prioritized the list. I also wrote down a "mission statement" for myself - this is a recap of what I wanted my life to be about. Since then, whenever one more thing tries to add itself to my To Do list, I ask myself "Is this contributing to my mission?" And "Does this help me live in line with my most important values?" The decision making process is a lot easier this way and many things just don't make it on the To Do list. I revisit my mission and priorities every month and adjust as needed. Life is short - don't let other people's priorities rule how you live yours. I hope you find that balance you're looking for.

  9. I recently got a longarm machine and have the third quilt loaded and ready to go. I'm completely Untalented at this but its something Ive wanted to do forever and finallythings worked out. Everyone asks if I am going to quilt for others, and my answer is a resounding NO! First of all, I know NOTHING! I am only learning. Second of all - I will have many quilts of my own to quilt/practice on. If I quilt for others I won't have time to make my own quilts (which I give away). Sure it's a big expensive piece of machinery sitting idle many days but, it is what it is. Slow down, enjoy YOUR life, enjoy your kids!

  10. I see some truly amazing spectacular quilting on this blog. Also, I see you being inspired by gorgeously pieced top to quilt in truly spectacular ways. Is that not design? So how did I stumble here? From the Moda Bake Shop blog where I'm contemplating doing your "Box of Color"quilt for my Mom. My Mom has the first quilt I ever made hanging on her bedroom wall. It's a log cabin laid out in traditional light and dark furrows. I told her I'd do her something modern for her bed inspired by that first quilt. So I sent her the link and asked her what she thought..... Anyway, you are inspiring others. Control your queque. Don't take on more than you can handle and don't take the job if it doesn't interest you. Take the restaurant approach and raise your prices to throttle back demand a little. You're great, you can demand a premium!


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