Tuesday, June 17, 2008

random thoughts...

since my trip back to bc, i've had many thoughts about my life recently.  

I'm homesick almost always in the last of the winter months.

I'm living for what I had back home, and not living for what I could have here...meaning I need to get out of the past and concentrate on where my future is, and embrace the possibilities right now.  

Now that the family home is sold, its like there's nothing left for me back home.   The only thing really getting me back there was the connection to "home".  It's sold now, so I'm not feeling that connected anymore.  A little free and excited, a little sad. Now that dad will be in a condo in New Westminster, I don't feel as much of a connection to Coquitlam anymore...I think it's the family home and those memories are a closed chapter now.

My future feels right now, still uncertain, but I feel alot more free to make a decision for my own family, and not have the guilt of "home".   Very hard to explain.  

After 9 months of kindergarten, I'm so thrilled with Ethan's schooling, and the future prospects at the school he is in now.  

I know we still want a larger property, and I know I will feel very home there.   Whether it is here in Alberta on a small acreage, or in Halifax or wherever it may take us.   I want my kids to be able to run free and kick the ball, and not worry about my 2.5 year old kicking the ball over the fence because my yard is so small.  *rollleyes*

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